GRACE_unLOVEYOU

120110

2012-01-10T01:28:00.002+08:00

the thing about girls is that they have to (almost) constantly know that they are being loved.

120107

2012-01-07T03:37:00.002+08:00

그래도 사랑해... 웡원히...

120107

2012-01-07T02:38:00.000+08:00

this totally feels like a deja vu. i went back to read the stuff i wrote.
i used the same words, i said the same thing, i felt the same thing.

22nd November 2011

and i would say the same thing to you: "i'll still be me."
adding "a me who's torn, but taped back, leaving only the scars"

120107

2012-01-07T01:46:00.002+08:00

you don't get it, do you?

but remember, tumblr's a place where you see a person's thoughts and feelings at that point of time

120701

2012-01-07T01:45:00.002+08:00

tumblr's for you..

120107

2012-01-07T00:59:00.002+08:00

120107

2012-01-07T00:36:00.001+08:00

sigh...

生于死只不过是一线之差。。。

生命是如此地短暂。。。

these few months i've seen death of relatives, not once but twice, and another in critical condition.

this reminds me of how fragile a human life is.

we are what our environment mould us to be.

what we become, is in our hands...

i'm just concerned and worried and ugh... cliche, but for your good.

try putting yourself in my shoes...

be fortunate i'm not one who does harm to my body

you knew i disliked it, you knew i hated it

but fortunately, it was in the past.

however, promises were made, promises were broken.. and not once.. it's a scar, it will always be.

this time felt creepily similar... right now i'm not sure of the results, but if what i fear comes true, it's deja vu. isn't it.

yes, words are that fragile. promises are that vulnerable.

111209

2011-12-09T18:17:00.002+08:00

http://un-loveyou.tumblr.com/post/13963296383/sorry

bid farewell to you at the lift with unwillingness
if not for the time constraint, i might have been able to say it
i just needed more courage
your fingers slide across my skin, i liked it
your hand on my waist, i liked it
it makes me feel like we're us again
like... nothing happened
however, in my expectations but not in my wishes, wasn't it just for a split moment
stepped into the lift, looked at you, wanting to spurt it out
but it never came
coward
probably because those words mean more than they appear to
because those words mean so much, filled with so much sincerity
but all is nought
because i am a coward
once out of your sight (and side), the useless me broke down
all that was in my mind was "보고싶었다고 도 못했어"
so intense, so much so that i started to say those words out
stood outside my door, bawling my eyes out
i'm such a failure
chanting that same sentence again and again, haunting myself with that same thought again and again
and my eyes did not stop
until i finally dared to face myself again, i unlocked the gate.
those words?
"i miss you"

111203

2011-12-03T03:18:00.001+08:00

next people will stop scolding you...
because you ought to already learn to have self discipline
because you're on your own
because the people are too tired
because the people have given up
because the people who care are gone...

what's left may be the only person who bothers, who makes the effort, who cares enough of you to "scold" despite knowing that she may be hated.
aren't that what all mothers are like?
don't we all, at a certain point of time, hated all those nagging and scoldings?
but don't we all, at a certain point of time, realise that all those actually meant well?
maybe it's the way humans are made.. there is more than one way one can love another. there is more than one way one can show their love.
but like all things, there is a bad side to everything. nothing is perfect, including love.

we all imagine love to be a perfect picture to everything we want and wish for. that there is no pain and hurt.
but no, it's wrong. it's wrong. we live in a misconception. a misconception whereby we believe that since love is the greatest thing, if we give in our all, we ought to reap whatever we want from it.
here's the truth. the amount of love we give, is the amount we hope to receive.
the harder truth? that will not happen.
they say "nothing is fair in this world"...
well, true that. even the heart (the one pumping in me and you) is not symmetrical. if the "core" to love is not even equally sized, how can we say that love should be equal? maybe it's the way God made us and the way we love.
there can never be of perfect balance of "love", until a certain point of time where it reaches equilibrium. however, that equilibrium is broken fast.

love appears to be made up of the best things in the world.
true, and not.
it's the best thing ever because you are finally able to give unconditionally, without regrets. you're finally willing to share everything you have. you're finally willing to give a part of yourself to someone worthy.
the best part of love is, more often than not, the people you love.
however, with light comes shadow.
loving is a beautiful thing, not being reciprocated is the painful thing.
and here comes the saying "the more you love, the more you hurt".
"love" itself does not hurt. it's human's own greed and desire that causes pain to ourselves.
when hard reality slaps us in our faces... when we know that there will always be a difference... when we fail to see beyond our blind spot.
the blind spot is where we cannot see the things that are there.
and when heart aches come, we cry... and cry and cry...

why, then, why do people still love with their soul?
because the loved ones are worth it.
because the loved ones are nothing like others.
because the loved ones make us feel that we are worth it.

YOU are loved.
you are worth it.
one day, we should all close our eyes and pause our thoughts to really let our heart point to us who we really do love and who really do love us.
but when it does... it is when the muscles stop beating, the blood stops flowing... that, is when we really know..

111125

2011-11-25T21:30:00.002+08:00

DIY.

it'll be legen.... wait for it... dary!

111124

2011-11-24T00:44:00.001+08:00

那些年，我們一起追的女孩 You are the apple of my eye

nice movie :) funny (and dirty) yet sad.
a few parts of the movie, i was on the verge of tears. just really keeping my eyes big and blinking like crazy. haha. because i relate it back to us..
some parts were really touching :)

a few parts that made me think about us:
"我就是要让你继续追求我，不然我将永远失去现在的你“
before Ke Teng had the courage to ask Jia ~~Ling~~ Yi to be together, she already gave him the answer "好（在一起）"

i know there's more than this. but i can't really remember the details of what they said.
it's a really nice movie. :) thanks for bringing me to watch with you :)

met quite a number of people i (or we) know at cathay though XD i think all or most of them watched the same show as us in the same cinema. there's.... kiakheng, zhehao & joyce, erina, and kiawei. what a coincidence! XD and we got the best seat hehehe yay! :DD

then window shopped :) was really happy when you offered to go into a shoe shop :D cos you always hated window shopping.

Marche for dinner. had nice nice pizza! the mushrooms was cheese or cream are damn awesome :D i really love chatting with you :) over anything under the sun :) i love that we can really talk about anything :)

then...... went to walk around H&M. we slipped in when it's closing soon haha! and checked out the very cute kids clothing! :D kids these days are too fortunate.. X)

soooooooooo you brought me up to orchard central upstairs :D we eventually got a seat outside the restaurant "Victoria Peak" and chatted~ but got chased down by the security guard.. :(

it was a really enjoyable afternoon+night :)

i love you deary <3

111122

2011-11-22T23:16:00.002+08:00

read your e-card for 1-year anni again... :') cried like a dog again...

111116

2011-11-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

happy 365 deary! <3 :DD
with lots of love.

울어? 안니면 웃어?
몰라..
좀 기대했어.. 뭘 기대해? ㅎㅎ
괜찮아 괜찮을거야 :)

111113

2011-11-13T03:09:00.002+08:00

sometimes i feel like a stranger..
sometime i feel like you're a stranger..
sometimes i wonder who i am..
sometimes i wonder who you are..

every beautiful thing comes with its price. just like a rose with its thorns
i believe, the same goes for our relationship. holding on to the most beautiful thing, yet has its price to pay.
but for i know, it's all worth it :)

"i love, i trust you
kimi no kodoku wo waketa hoshii
i love you, i trust you
hikari demo yami demo
futari da kara shinjiaeru
no hanasanaide"

111107

2011-11-07T01:43:00.001+08:00

OMGGGGGGGGG WHAT THE SHITTTTTTTTTTT

111106

2011-11-06T02:35:00.001+08:00

today isn't a bad day. today's isn't the worst day. :) today was a day out with you :)
despite all that happened, i'll still treasure this day. i know that i will always look back and remember this very day.

today i got really childish and sensitive that i got angry that you just ordered food without asking for my opinion. but dumb me didn't know that you actually ordered for both of us. then childish me flipped the menu closed and didn't order anything. but the sweet (despite you clarifying) you subsequently ordered my all-time favourite food (at Itacho) for me. which was really sweet and touching :) i was really happy inside. but the ego me didn't show it. but was a teeny upset that you really totally didn't talk to me and you were still angry after i drew so many hearts.

today i watched (or rather, completed) my first ever politics movie with my dearest XD well, i never liked politics movies because i find them boring and i always go ????, but this time round, it wasn't your fault. because you honestly thought the movie would be nice. because the ratings and movie description tricked you into it. i really did not blame you for anything. because it was an honest "mistake". you enjoyed the movie can liao :) (even though for me, i find the movie pointless haha! i actually think one episode of 'Leverage' which involved politics is nicer :P) but it was nice sitting there holding your hand for 2 hours :)

today i wore my tallest-in-height wedge that i own. 10cm wedge~~ pretty pretty, but with beauty comes pain. X) 3 plasters, 3 blisters. feet was sore for a period of time because i walked too fast i think. but i just tahan for the whole time. sometimes the pain gets so pain that it's gone. haha! like surpassed that level until you can't really feel it anymore X) so when i reached home, the first thing that came to my mind was "relieve for my legs" haha! i still love that wedge though :D

tomorrow shall be our first time going out of singapore together! well, it's to msia only, and with your friends, but it's still counted right ^^ i really really hope it doesn't rain. cos i don't think i wanna bring a brolly there. and i hope my feet doesn't hurt tomorrow XD

<3

111030

2011-10-30T01:25:00.000+08:00

i thank God for having you.
it may be a challenge, but i'd gladly accept it.
the future is bleak, there is no absolute and definite in life but we're still doing well.
every problem has a solution, it's just if we manage to find it or realise it or not.
but i am only human... i flaw, i have weaknesses, i am not perfect.
tears are there to say that it's okay to break down at times.
tears are there to say that being imperfect is perfectly fine.

and i thank God for the amazing family and friends i have.

111020

2011-10-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

although i'm really really curious and really wanna know, but it's okay. i guess i'll just keep myself in the dark. i'll just forget about. innocence is bliss :)

ily<3

111019

2011-10-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

and do you know why?
'twas the way you held my neck and pulled on my necklace.
didn't know and don't know what that meant but... it kinda hurt.. physically and emotionally.
but still, i know you love me. and i love you too. so i shall throw this to the back of my mind.. :)

111016

2011-10-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

happy 11th 16th! :D

today is special (and different) because you're in Shanghai. and you sent an sms from Shanghai.
but you were super cute cos you accidentally sent the message instead of putting it as draft HAHA. <3
cute cute cute XD

111015

2011-10-15T19:09:00.002+08:00

"你以为只有受伤的人才会痛吗？那伤人的哪一个呢？她连喊痛的资格都没有"
true story. T_T

111012

2011-10-12T03:55:00.000+08:00

i miss you so much babe
having fun in shanghai? :)
i predict i'm going to be staying home a lot but it's okay.
i learnt a lot during the JB trip with Yinghui. ate a lot and bought a lot. XD it was awesome :)
maybe next time we can go together haha!

watching some taiwan drama called "drunken to love you".
the female lead was supposed to be marrying her bf who hinted that he was going to propose to her in Las Vegas. he was so sweet and all but the next day, he left her a note saying that he cannot marry her and they should break up. she was devastated. she insisted that she went Vegas with him but he took her luggage and threw all the contents into the water including her air ticket. she tried to save her air ticket but it was soaked wet. she cried and begged him to stay. but he, very harshly, left and never looked back.
he had his reasons, which i don't know yet cos i haven't watch until that part but apparently he still loved her. but he had to dump her so harshly. and to see the one he love being in such pain :(
and this female lead is reminiscing the times they had together and try to "erase" those memories because she heard some stupid relationship expert say that to heal such wounds, the person must trace back their footsteps and slowly erase those memories and hurt. which i think is very stupid and not true at all.

so looking at her tracing back her memories and being so upset about the absence of her previously very sweet ex-boyfriend, it made me think about you and that i miss you a lot :(

and this song lyrics so sad... :(

111005

2011-10-05T03:37:00.000+08:00

didn't want you to be disappointed...
in the end, you still did. but instead, it was over me.
sigh. indeed, i am a disappointment...

111005

2011-10-05T01:42:00.000+08:00

너 나한테 실망했어생각했어지
나도... 가끔... 좀 실망해..
우리 서로 이해해야돼는거아냐?
힘들어... 그렇지

111005

2011-10-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

you ask: why say sorry when you don't understand why?

i know. i know.. i know...
i apologized because it is my fault.
but why did my attitude change to "don't think. seriously"?
well... haha..
let's just say it's a vicious cycle.

i'm sorry, again. goodnight

110916

2011-09-16T02:30:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 10 MONTHS BABY! ^^ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

110912

2011-09-12T05:00:00.000+08:00

and today, the way we ended the quarrel/bicker/issue was the worst ever ever ever. :(
you know what, i think/i guess/i think/i guess i won't be able to forget it.
cos the more you try to forget something, the more you'll remember it.. :(

110912

2011-09-12T03:54:00.002+08:00

all along, the kind of physical pain i felt in my chest, was that sudden constraint of hurt.
but today, it felt different. it felt like... suffocating.

110912

2011-09-12T03:38:00.002+08:00

there, you've said it.
there, i've said it.

now i start to wonder if i even matter. if i ever matter

110912

2011-09-12T02:46:00.000+08:00

sometimes, things that you've been keeping in and holding back just pours out.
the same words, different people, different mood and thoughts, different meanings.

"cliche that never goes wrong: change is the only constant"

110816

2011-08-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 9TH DARLING! <3 :DDD
it came as a big surprise okay! so touched! ^^ :D
love you, sweetie! ^^ <3

110816

2011-08-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

other times, i would be sian that you play and talk to me on the phone at the same time. cos i still don't quite feel around.

but today, i'm not sian about that. in fact, i actually called you even though i knew you were gaming, to un-sian myself. i just wanted to hear your voice. :)

110815

2011-08-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes i find you so cute i wanna squeeeeeze you

sometimes i find the beauty in your maturity

sometimes i feel so blessed and fortunate

sometimes i feel like i'm in a world of candies and candy floss

sometimes i wanna stay in that moment forever

sometimes i feel broken and bitter

sometimes i wanna get out of this world

sometimes i wish things are that that that simple

110814

2011-08-14T03:49:00.001+08:00

Hey dearest, i miss you.
I miss every moment i spent with you.
Just a few days of not meeting you and I'm missing you so much already...
I miss every part of you.
And i miss you saying you miss me.
<3

(blogging this on my bed hoho)

110812

2011-08-12T01:52:00.005+08:00

dear sis,

do. i. see. you. wearing. my. shirt?! =O
well, if anything, i remember (almost) every piece of my clothing, from undergarments to singlets, from pants to dresses.
and i'm pretty sure that piece of shirt i saw you in, in that picture, is mine. or at least, the exact same piece. but i'm positive it's mine.
i'm not THAT particular about my clothes, if you ask first. helloooooooooo? ask first can? i also don't go around wearing your clothes. (wtshit?!)
*cough* just because i look nice in it, doesn't mean you'll look like me in it hor hmph!
yes, if you think that i won't realise that i'm missing a shirt, amongst that pile of clothes, you're right. but i've got sharp eyes. at least for certain things. haha~
OH WELL.
i'm ranting here cos it's one of my favourite piece of clothing, despite it being from The Box, and you just took it to wear without my knowledge :(
if it's some other normal piece of clothing, i guess i wouldn't kick up such a (~~big~~ it's not big at all) fuss.
OH WELL.

bottom line: you've got some explaining to do, sis.

shall return to doing IFA now. RAH! >:(

(ETA: oh, and i do remember your clothes too. not that i'm kaypo. i just can remember, one look is all it takes. :) )

--

wtf. you DIDN'T wear my shirt out, but you wore it awhile to your friend's house?
wtf. you DIDN'T wear my shirt out, but you wore it out awhile to buy another shirt?
if you can f-ing twist your words like this, how am i supposed to believe your words?
you always say i'm biased, i always refuse to believe you.
HELLO. OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS AND BRAIN (IF YOU HAVE ANY) BIG BIG HOR. HOW YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU?
you look at your own words. you look. you DIDN'T wear, but you wore. wth are you talking about?
you said wearing that short while to your friend's house, isn't considered wearing it. WTF? do you need me to check for you the definition of "wear"? do you not understand english?
then you said "so i go departmental store and try on clothes, also not mine".
PRECISELY WHAT. not yours what. no matter it's yours or not, as long as you pull it on, you're wearing it. the shirt does not HAVE to be yours to be considered you wearing it. contradict yourself.... the best part about argueing with you is that i always manage to make you contradict yourself, turn one round and shoot yourself.

then you say "you got that pile of shirt over there, you expect me to not wear?"
err... DUH?
hello, you expect me to expect you to wear my shirt? i know i got a lot of nice clothes and i look damn gorgeous in it. but hello? keeping to your originality is one thing, trying too hard to be like me (it's true) is another. don't anyhow touch my things can?
since young, you've always touched my stuff without consent, even stole and die die also refused to admit you did it when all evidence points to you.
if you can't be frank to yourself and others, how do you expect others to trust you?

your excuse "i can't find my shirt what."
if you're best at anything, it's crap.
so you can't find your shirt. so it gives you reason to wear mine? what logic?
so i've seen a pile of YOUR shirts that you have picked out and placed aside. lying through your teeth, sis?
the thing is, you like to lie, you think you're great at lying, you think you're great at twisting words around, but you're wrong. you may be great at twisting words, but that's into something that doesn't make sense or will make you contradict yourself. and of course, you suck at lying. either that, or i'm too good at detecting your lies.
i don't get it. why can't you just come clean, instead of lying your way through. heard of "you need 10 lies to keep 1 lie going, and another 10 lies to keep each of the other 10 lies"?

your solution "then you buy one stack of shirt for me lor".
HA HA HA.
now, this is when you realise your stupidity and crap. when such things come out from your mouth, you and i know you've lost the argument.
so you wore my shirt without my consent and knowing, now you want me to buy more shirts to prevent you from wearing my shirts? WTF are you thinking *knocks your head* what's in there?
does this even seem logical to you? the best you can come up with? wtf man LAUGHING-OUT-LOUD
i have no obligations to make sure you have something (incredibly nice, considering it's my shirt) to wear out.
i have no obligations to make sure that you can find your damn clothes.
i have no obligations to buy any shit for you to prevent you from wearing my clothes.
my clothes are my clothes.
a simple sentence, easy to understand. if you still don't get it, i really got nothing to say.
seriously? the thing about arguing with you is that when you say such stupid and illogical things, i don't know how to carry on the argument. i can only laugh. such "wise" thinking, sis. (Y) i genuinely wonder how you get such thoughts. roflmao

just admit it. my clothes are pretty. and you're trying a little too hard to be me.
if my clothes weren't nice, why take mine when there are apparently lots of your own clothes? hoho :)

be yourself, sis. don't try (too hard) to be someone you're not.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”

hi IFA, sorry for neglecting you for a (long) while.

110805

2011-08-05T01:01:00.001+08:00

at the end of the day, you're still all i want ♥

110805

2011-08-05T00:06:00.002+08:00

maybe... we should not progress too fast...
hopefully... this will keep things simple between us...

110804

2011-08-04T01:08:00.000+08:00

"when you look me in the eyes, tell me that you love me.
everything's alright when you're right here by my side"

this song was playing in the shop just now, and it made me cry and cry and cry. lucky for me, my colleague went out for lunch.
sometimes, your eyes can say a thousand words. sometimes it felt like your eyes just sang me the sweetest love song.

"i hope you know i hope you know,
that this has nothing to do with you.
it's personal, myself and I.
we've got some straightening out to do....... and big girls don't cry"

and this song had to play as well.

i've got so much to apologise for, so much to thank for. so much so that i can't pen them down.
here's a sentence in conclusion: i love you so much, i can't do without you, so don't ever leave me behind.

110802

2011-08-02T18:33:00.000+08:00

i love the feel of your lips on me.
i love the feel of you kissing me softly.
i love the feel of how i love you.

110728

2011-07-28T02:13:00.002+08:00

i'm so not worth it.

110712

2011-07-13T00:46:00.003+08:00

Dear Lord, my heart is stirring. my mind is stirring. this is due to, none other than, the upcoming table topic (aka impromptu speech) tomorrow. flustered, is an understatement. my lack of general knowledge regarding the happening world bring me fear and insecurity. doubt, of myself and my abilities to do well tomorrow, starts to arise. i hope i would get a familiar, or rather, a topic i would be comfortable with. that's the least i can ask for. when the time comes for me to b assessed, i hope i won't let myself down. please bless me with such confidence and wisdom, oh Lord, for miracles happen in your presence. I thank you, Lord, for your undying love. In Jesus' name i pray, Amen.

110712

2011-07-12T01:31:00.000+08:00

i love my baby~~~~ ^^
i love you for everything you've done.
i love you for who you are.
i love you for loving me.
i love you for how you love me.
i love you for you have shown me what is love. and that is none other than YOUUUUU!!! :D

<3<3!!

110701

2011-07-02T02:49:00.000+08:00

Today was different
Today was special
Today was a fairytale :)

110630

2011-06-30T01:04:00.004+08:00

GET WELL SOON, DEAR!!! :)
hearts for you to drive the virus away!

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

(p.s. the first row of hearts is not copied and pasted~ :P)

110623

2011-06-23T03:27:00.001+08:00

dear, apparently we face the same issues over and over again. i doubt it's gonna go away. i can't completely deal with mine, just like how you can't completely deal with yours. although it's two complete different thing, but maybe it isn't so different after all. both with regards to attention.. really, like i said, even though i may not seem to be doing enough in your eyes, but i don't think i've done any lesser than i should. you can't do without games, i can't do without friends.. as much as i can't understand how you feel, i doubt you can really understand how i feel too... but i know it's not gonna pose any threat to us. i just... wanted to say it somewhere. there are thoughts i wanted to post on twitter but you said i shouldn't post stuff on twitter. and so i tried to refrain from doing so and cut down on them a lot. if you don't remember, i remember telling you though, i'm one who needs a place to rant whenever there's something bothering me. and my blog has been full of these random and "useless" rants that i don't even write proper posts anymore... but that's not the point. thing is... i'm trying my best... can you see? i know you don't want to rush to home to game and all and do try to spend time with me. i really do appreciate. that's why the most i can do now is just to speak to imaginary people, to type it out and only imply stuff. i don't force you out of your games or say "NO" to everything. i'm not saying i want you out of your games stuff. even if i do, i can't. i can't be that selfish. i just want you to understand that... some things are hard for you as they are for me. some things even though cut down, can't be extinguished completely. i'm sure you know that. the most important thing now is to know that i love you and only you. you're my only one. whoever else outside the picture doesn't matter and they stay strictly as friends. sometimes i miss the past. even though i do love and treasure and cherish the present, but sometimes the past which may not mean as much as the present, i really do miss it. i do have specific events in mind but i'm not gonna list them. cos if you paid enough attention, you would have known what are they. i still love you babe. i do. i'm still gonna appear offline for most times, i'm still gonna reduce or even refrain from talking to people you don't like, i'm still gonna place you as my priority. but sometimes i wonder if you do see what i'm doing. i'm still gonna try to be a better me, for you. but i wish to see myself being comparable to games too. i know you send me home whenever you can. which is real sweet and i appreciate it and love it a lot a lot. that kind neutralizes out a lot of my negative thoughts about your games you know. that makes me really unable to complain. to show utmost dislike because i know you really take up much time and effort to send me home. when it comes to this point, my thoughts always fight themselves out. until all i can manage is a sigh of helplessness and cluelessness. not to deny, sometimes i do rant to close friends like aloysius and zongquan. but that's all i can do. if you're gonna strip me from ranting to close friends... i don't know... it's either my blog will be full of such stuff until 1) it's not even worth reading 2) you'd be too immune to it that you don't even care. and i don't want that to happen cos that means my words are all gonna be so so so insignificant. used to be called "social butterfly" which all along i viewed it as a bad term, but now i'm not anymore. the lack of attention span, or someone to talk to, only makes me wanna find someone to talk to even more. at least leave me with a route, babe. :) i can't say who's feeling worse cos i doubt we'll really ever get to know how each other is feeling. but... as much as you're trying to "tank" it and absorb it, your girlfriend over here is doing the same. over different, yet same, things.

lastly, i love you dearly, my dear. :)

(note back: it's not that i'm not happy with you, it's just i love you too much.)

and apparently i just got stalked by wee wee. hi wee~

110620

2011-06-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

heee last night + today was nice :D
a day i totally would have dreamt of. just doing nothing with you. sitting around and slacking~
wearing your clothes etc etc. XD hahaha!
fun fun! and time passed so fast! :( if only today never ends. if onlyyyyyyyyyyyy!
i miss you already! <3<3<3

110616

2011-06-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

you saying you hurt, hurts me..
and who says i don't love you? everyone has their own way of loving someone.
maybe i haven't seen all of what you've done. maybe you haven't seen all of what i'd done.
in a relationship, i believe there shouldn't be a comparison of who loves who more.
"you can give without loving, but you can't love without giving"
i love you kay. i do.

110616

2011-06-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

teehee HAPPY 16TH/7TH DEARRRR! <3 :D
tonight was a special night :D hehehehe :D cos:
1) you came all the way here to walk me home for that 10 minutes.
2) first time you stepped into my (very messy) house.
3) it was just a few minutes before our 7th! :D

to add on to that, the fourth and most important reason is simply cos you're here!! every moment with you is special. :) and i didn't catch what you said about the "recite" thing. but i didn't have a chance to ask properly then you silenced me. LOL :P but those were my thoughts and feelings at that moment. i didn't make them up nor planned ahead to say them. it just came XD

p.s. your maggie mee really tastes a whole lot nicer. dang! XD

many many many more days to spend together yea! you said it! i'm taking your word for it! :D <3

110615

2011-06-15T03:38:00.000+08:00

you're the best boyfriend i can ever have, i swear.
and no one else can replace you, i swear.
a thousand "sorry"s can't make up for the hurt i've caused.
a thousand "sorry"s can't make up for the guilt i feel.
you said " 我要的只是你在我身边". i say, all i want i also you by my side.

gosh, it's now 3:36am. supposed to sleep by 30 mins from 2:45am.
sorry..
i hope you don't dream of me, cos i wished you sweet dreams and good night.

110615

2011-06-15T03:26:00.001+08:00

i swear i'm trying real hard to read through your posts without shedding a tear

110615

2011-06-15T03:22:00.000+08:00

damn blur and helpless now. i need someone to talk to T___________T
very tempted to go check if the fridge has anything to drink. but i have to work tmr. can't let myself die tomorrow.
i've never felt so alone before. where are you when i need you most? T___T
i so wanna call you and tell you how horrible i'm feeling. never felt this way before.. but you told for the third time or something that you wanted to sleep.
remember when she who never scolded vulgarities at you, scolded at you? the moment you felt? i think i felt it worse.
i keep trying to throw this away, i keep trying to not remember this but i can't. the very first time you called me an asshole and meant it.
i'm so sorry that i am one.
oh God, i feel damn terrible. i guess i'm more alone than i thought so.

110615

2011-06-15T03:07:00.000+08:00

it's not okay... it's not... the issue may be solved, all may be well again, but it's not okay.
i know it's not.... i know...
when was the last time i really cried out loud? i don't remember.
you know now my mind's so full of everything that it has become blank. that i can't stop crying cos idk... every blank second pulls back something to make me cry.
that's not the point. the point is... wait, there's not point. what's the point?
omg i don't know what i'm doing. what am i doing what the hell am i doing what am i doing
i'm sorry. a thousand words compressed into two.
i don't deserve to say "i love you". i don't deserve to. i don't deserve to.
feeling ultimate terrible. the worst i've ever felt. can tell no one.
my mum's not at home. i can't tell my friends. you're asleep. how...how...
you tell me don't cry.. how... tell me how...
you tell me it's okay... how... tell me how...
i'm trapped in my own circle. i'm spinning around. i can't get out. help me.
i'm so alone. i'm all alone.
Lord, hear my cries.. get me out of here...

110615

2011-06-15T02:51:00.000+08:00

really need to believe it's okay, now, please?
now i know why people want to cut themselves etc. because they can't stand themselves around. because they know it's not okay even if someone tells them it is. because they need the physical pain to cover up the emotional pain.

i swear i need someone to kill me now.
i don't know how to live past the night.
i'm sorry....

110615

2011-06-15T02:21:00.000+08:00

ouch ouch ouch hurts so much.
hurts so much to spell it out. hurts so much to even think of it.
i said another one of my biggest fears: "i'm not worth it". cos im too too too scared to lose you.
but i said it, in the end. cos i love you.

110615

2011-06-15T00:59:00.000+08:00

now you know what i mean about you directing your anger at me cos of them.
it's not only that vulgarities come out like free, but that you also attitude me.
i know it's all cos of me.
but no matter what, it did hurt. even just a bit, it did hurt.
hmm
hm

110614

2011-06-14T02:30:00.002+08:00

yes sweetie, you're my number 1 and i love you so much :)
biggggggg hugs and biggggggggg hearts for you! *virtual for now :P*
사랑해! <3

sent my parents off at the airport and this sweet guy has to come all the way to send my sis and i home.
even though we missed the last train to town and the last bus home, and took quite some time to get home, this sweet guy really proved himself to be reliable :)
and now, this even my sis thinks this guy is so sweet. aww i'm so proud of you and i love you sooooo much! <3 heeeee :D

xoxo

110612

2011-06-12T02:55:00.000+08:00

i don't care if i'm the only one crying my eyes out. as long as you're fine.

110612

2011-06-12T02:05:00.002+08:00

maybe you have no time for me and my boring life

110612

2011-06-12T01:02:00.000+08:00

just so you know, i'm not posting stuff to actually "communicate" with you cos i can't tell you over sms or twitter or anywhere else or anything else.
it's just that.. this place, all along, is somewhere i post my thoughts, feelings, rants etc...
and it just so happened that all my happenings, now, are you.

like i said, we're so different. we both know that.
everything is so different. everything..
friends and family, beliefs and habits... etc...
it's amazing how we ended up together. it's amazing how "you and i" become "us".
we're so different...
but i love you, anyhow.

110611

2011-06-11T00:14:00.000+08:00

when i say "when i'm online, nobody is", i actually mean you.

logged on to msn since i was home.
forgot you went to vanessa's celebration. but that doesn't matter.
and dear, i'm so sorry to say that people you don't like are chatting with or chatted with me.
or maybe the one to be sorry to is myself.
because the only person i wish to see online, isn't.
because i waited for you to come online, not that it was that essential since i got you on sms if that makes me feel better, and i ended up with everyone else but you.
idk what's with today cos when i say "people you don't like", i mean all of them. yes, all of them.

idk what's the issue here. won't think of one either. guess it's just me. again. if that makes things better... cos that means no need to dig for explanations. no need to dig for excuses. no need to dig for anything, if there is anything to dig for at all.

the irony of life...

110607

2011-06-07T01:02:00.002+08:00

i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry.
i should have known today wasn't a good idea.
i thought you said it was "all application", i thought it would be alright.
oh man.. :( so sorry..
please do well for this paper. no matter what. please don't give up. please hang in there. please keep going.
i'm sorry i'm nothing but trouble :(
jiayou <3

110607

2011-06-07T01:02:00.000+08:00

110604

2011-06-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

this is a dead blog. yet it is so alive.

sometimes i wonder.. i wonder i wonder i wonder..
i wonder if the meaning of words depreciate over time as well.
sometimes i wonder..
i wonder if promises are even made to be done or just to prevent what's not it.
sometimes i think back..
back to over a year back. when we just met.
up till now, i still have lots of questions yet to be asked and answered.
up till now, i'm still amazed.
but i figured the answers to my questions can't be found.
and as i slowly progressed down memory lane, i find disheartening events. at the same time, i find heartwarming ones.
ups and downs. isn't this what happens to everyone? isn't this, life?
every event, everything, has a lesson for us to learn. be it good ones or bad ones.
now, the difficult part is, what have i actually learnt?
are things as simple as it seems. are complicated and never-ending problems impossible to solve? lessons within lessons?
i don't know.
all i know, and hope for now, is to count my blessings.
sometimes i forget to do so. but who doesn't? we're all a selfish and greedy species.
as much as i'm disgusting by human nature, then again, weren't all humans thought to be pure at first born?
irony. paradox. they have been living amongst us.
and this applies to everything. actions, people, words etc...
sometimes i am tired of this world.
someone bring me to live with the stars please. i can talk to them all day.

happy 201th <3

110526

2011-05-26T01:56:00.000+08:00

wanna cry wanna cry wanna cry
don't.
can't.
should not.

stfu grace.

110526

2011-05-26T01:24:00.000+08:00

actually, honestly, sometimes i don't exactly like it when you say "let's not talk about this".
it feels as if you don't wanna talk anymore.
it feels as if you didn't want to care anymore.
it feels as if you're saying "whatever" with a slap in my face.
i don't know what i'm thinking.
i don't know why am i writing this.
just... pain. over here. *points to heart*

110524

2011-05-24T04:25:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder if i could do the same without feeling anything.
but i know the answer.
i can't do it.
whenever this thought enters my mind, it never fails to bring tears.
i just can't, alright.
cos i know exactly how it feels.

phone rang at 4.14am. last message received from you at 3.56am.
got my hopes high.
well, not that i want to, but i just can't help it.
but yea, another round of disappointment. oh well.
can't blame you. blame myself for being foolish

and again, i just can't help thinking how insignificant i am in this world.
to an extent that it makes me cry.
that i'm nothing but just a speck of dust in this boundless universe.

i don't know what's in for me.
i don't know what's to come.
i don't know what plans God has laid out for me.
i don't know what i want.
but i know what i have.
and the least i want, is to lose them.

i don't know who i am.
i don't know what i am.
i don't know why i'm here.
but i do know there's a reason for everything.
the only thing is, i do not know what.

i suck.

-Love is when song lyrics starts to relate to you..

"what are words if you really don't mean them when you say them.
what are words if they're only for good times, then they don't."

"when it's love, yea you say them out loud.
those words, they never go away.
they live on, even when we're gone"

110523

2011-05-23T02:11:00.001+08:00

not the best artist around, but i draw such teeny (meaningful, or not) things with you in my mind.
(and yes, this rainbow doesn't look like a wifi symbol. phew!)

somehow these 2 days remind me a lot of us in the past. when we just got to know each other. when we were still unsure of everything.

yesterday.
at the sofa. how long had it been since i last laid on your sofa?
how long had it been since i last laid on your lap?
how long had it been since you last stroked my hair while im lying on that cushion?
and that kiss felt so foreign yet so familiar.
it felt raw yet exceptionally sweet.

today.
well, i had to make you come all the way for childish and troublesome me again. yes, again.
but it reminded me a lot of the roller blade night.
how everyone was out when i decided to get out of the house.
however, it differed at that this was an unplanned meeting, unlike that time.
how it was like 9pm or so when i left house.
however, was differed was the mood and expectations i brought with me.

we sat in macs again.
what was different was that back then, you were the one who was eating.
we went back to the fitness corner (i refuse to call it playground XD).
what was different was that back then, the agenda was different.

i fell in love with you all over again, under the same lights.
i screamed in the middle of the nights again, under the same block.
we sat there talking again, on the same bench.

i have no idea what all these mean.
i just know what you mean to me.
i'm sorry for things i make you do, even when you're unwilling to.
i'm thankful for all the things you do, even when you're unwilling to.
i love you dear. and i'll always do.

the past, present and future will never cease to be connected.
love you lots lots :)
<3 x10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

i once said, "we are a rainbow. because the shine from our brilliance for each other and the tears we shed together, make us this rainbow." and this is always gonna be true.

110517

2011-05-17T01:03:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 6TH BABY!! <3 <3 <3

enjoyed today :D even though i wished we could stay longer to view the night scenery and enjoy the sea breeze(?) haha! but we had to leave thanks to the smokers :(

really really loved your card :D so cute and sweet haha! :D
wish we have many many more of these days to spend together! ^^
i hope you like your prezzie too! :P
i wanted to buy it for you since that time you saw it. but your bd was too far away and i figured you'd probably get one for yourself by then. soooooo i just took this chance! :P

and your "tattoo"~~~ hehe!

if only the polaroid could show the background just now. haha. and i wanted to take pic of the food. but i forgot! plus you dug in so fast. even if i remembered, i wouldn't have the chance to take it before you ate XD

had a great time with you! like always :D
love you babe! <3

:)

110510

2011-05-10T01:16:00.000+08:00

you say "i really think love is a word used too easily".
i say, not anymore when you finally found the meaning behind it.
not anymore when you finally found the reason behind it.
not anymore when you finally found the person behind it.
because "love" is just a word until someone comes along to give it its worth.

110509

2011-05-09T01:02:00.000+08:00

scenes from yesterday are still running in my mind.
nice nice :D
every moment with you is worth to be cherished.
and "cherish" is the string attached to every relationship.

110505

2011-05-05T00:07:00.001+08:00

i'm not afraid to love you.
i'm not afraid to trust you.
what i'm afraid of, is that you would regret saying "i'll always love you"...

110503

2011-05-03T22:52:00.000+08:00

hurts to see you hurt...
kills to not know what caused it, cos i know i can't ask, cos i know i shouldn't ask.
but i'm all ears if you wanna talk kay, baby.
maybe one day you feel like talking... maybe 1 year... maybe 10 years. no matter how long, i'll still be here for you :)
so sleep well and sleep tight tonight.
for may all troubles will melt in the sweetest of dreams.

love you..

110430

2011-04-30T02:55:00.001+08:00

thank you. so so much. for everything.
you don't deserve this.. you deserve better..
sorry.. sorry i had to be the one you love. sorry it had to be me. sorry i had to be me. sorry..
sorry for causing pain, physically or emotionally. sorry..
sorry you had to worry about things you never once thought of before. sorry..
sorry you had so much restrictions, like never before.
sorry you had to bear with such an irritating, immature, stubborn girl.
you don't deserve this.. you deserve better..

thank you for loving me.. sorry for loving you..

if you don't already know, you have the prettiest eyes ever.
the sweetest lips.
the gentlest touch.
the warmest heart...

110428

2011-04-28T20:05:00.001+08:00

skipping on my heart are the words "I Love You"..

notice the change in template? ^^
yes, it was inspired by yours haha!
i wanted to do something like this since long ago but i was afraid you'd come to claim "copyright" :P

nothing's gonna bring us down, baby!
and this morning was such a nice start of school.
we held hands to walk up the hill all the way~ ^^
and i didn't even realise there was like a huge crowd walking towards us at LT24 there until you mentioned XD lol! if not for that, i think i would have continued holding your hand hahahaha! XD
"oh shit, my freshie" at the same time HAHA! omg we're so cute! hahahahahahaha!
<3

110421

2011-04-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

i love you baby..!

inevitable obstacles and challenges await us in this long journey.
but fear not,
both of us complete each other.

in times like this,
we shall only be stronger.
let's hold on to each other, down this path called love.

(*p.s. recognise the nails? ^^)

110419

2011-04-19T01:05:00.001+08:00

i'm sorry for all that i had done wrong, dear.
sometimes, as much as you wanna hold it in to prevent me from getting upset as well, i wanna know what is going on.
i'd really really rather you tell me the truth :)
i know it's hard to hold it back in. i'm sorry. i saw your expression just now when you said "i'm freaking trying to hold it back"... made me didn't want to and didn't dare to talk. plus when you said to not correct you, i realised what i did. and i tried not to say some stuff that i wanted to say.
thank you for everything. your efforts, your time, your love, your everything.
sorry for everything, too. my ignorance, my stubbornnes...
i love you, dear. :)
and yes, the moon looks exceptionally bright just like how today you were exceptionally sweet to send me home even though it was so late plus you had to wake up so early. there must also be a reason why the moon was shining on me through my window last night X) must be cos you were looking out for all the time, even at such unearthly hours.

i love you babe. always and always. <3

110412

2011-04-12T02:58:00.000+08:00

i'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, but i hope it's not the wrong thing to do. and that we're not going off course. :)
cos maybe i'm not exactly the kind of girl that you thought you would get, or like the girls who mixes with your friends. X)

just saying. i still love you babe ^^ <3

110403

2011-04-03T04:48:00.000+08:00

it's okay, baby. in the end it's all worth it, i know. i love you too :')

and yes, of course you'll be granted time (i won't even say it's up to me)
cos time is what allows us to mould and grow into someone better :)

somehow i guessed you were thinking stuff again when after awhile you still sent an sms. haha.

but really, you know what... even though sometimes i may unreasonable, childish, useless, stupid, irritating, naggy etc., but this girl here really loves you..
and she seeks for forgiveness as well.

jet'aime ♥

110402

2011-04-02T00:49:00.000+08:00

110331

2011-03-31T02:27:00.000+08:00

every second that passes, is imprinted with your name.
filed up in my heart, where feelings are born, and ceased.
what is to be when i flip open these pages once again, aren't words but pictures.
i believe memories are illustrated, not written.
"show, not tell"
will you pick up this brush, hold my hand, and paint our future together?

110321

2011-03-21T00:48:00.001+08:00

as water streams out from the shower head and courses down my hair, face, and body, my vision blured...

20th march. 1 day.
7 smses, 49 lines on msn. (excluding smileys, including "lol" "haha" "eh" etc.)

"bored" is an understatement.
in fact, "bored" wasn't. suitable.
"empty" is.

it was only when i was showering then did i think a lot.
undeniably, much tears were present.
i cut off all interactions.. appearing offline and having only your chat. short reply, or even stop replying, others' smses...
it was all for you.
i had only you... but it wasn't the case for you...
sometimes i wonder what if i were to disappear.
sometimes i want to. just to see.

i'm not putting any blame, of course.
i'm just ranting.
there were much more thoughts that occurred, but i know i should not write it down here.

call me childish, call me possessive. whatever.
i just know that as much as i've been trying to keep it in throughout the day, i can't.
and that like any other person, i don't wanna be transparent.

i can't deny i was sad...
i understand you had birdie over and all...
but i can't feeling this way.
i'm sorry. i can't help it.
i wouldn't want to, as well, if i had the choice..

if back then was hard for you, you have no idea what i'm going through now...
especially when back then i didn't actually mean as much as you mean to me now.

110318

2011-03-18T22:47:00.001+08:00

*i wanted to post this last night, using my phone. but my sis off the internet before i could post it -.- *

"you look pretty to me" is one of the best things you can say to me.
It touches me deep down in my heart.
It's one of the best compliment i can have, especially when it came from you.
If anything, that's what will matter most to me: how i look in your eyes.
Thank you so much, dear.
For always being there.
For spending so much time with me.
For putting up with all my childishness and nonsense.
For being yourself.
For giving me your heart.
For that is one thing i treasure most.

"how do i live without you..
How do i breathe without you..
If you ever go.."

110316

2011-03-16T03:05:00.000+08:00

i can't swallow my saliva because it's so hard to.
it's as if all emotions, even those that i am not sure of, are stuck in my throat.

i was glad yet shocked for a moment when you could hear it over the phone. cos the very first time it flowed down, i myself did not realise. much less did i realise the sniffing you heard.

if you wanna know the reason, it's your instant "yes" to my question.
and for a while before that, "possessive".

maybe i shouldn't have called...

110312

2011-03-12T03:19:00.000+08:00

사랑한다..
정말로.. 진짜로..
다 나때문이야.. 미안해..
내가 못한이유는 그게 벆에 없어...
못했어서 미안해...
잘 못했어..
용서해줘..
난 니가 사랑해.. 절대 잊지마

♥

110305

2011-03-05T23:58:00.002+08:00

Love
- an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.

they say love is bitter,
they say love is sweet.

they say love is sad,
they say love is blissful.

they say love is hard,
they say love is patient.

but no, i say love is you.

110304

2011-03-04T03:31:00.000+08:00

one week of hell...
one week of mugging and facing notes.
one week of your absence.

i miss you. i do.

can't wait for tomorrow wheeeeee :)

110221

2011-02-21T00:49:00.001+08:00

i don't know why i felt physical heart ache when i saw my dad hugging my mum as i went to close their bedroom door...

110219

2011-02-19T17:00:00.015+08:00

ok i got it.
i should be glad i'm turning 18 :)

i'm a happy girl celebrating my awesome 18 with a group of brilliant friends and a wonderful, lovable, sweet YOU. ♥

thank you so much for spending this whole day with me. ^^ no one has ever planned such an awesome/romantic/sweet birthday date for me before. and your plans were absolutely beyond my zai prediction LOL :P wheeeeeee <3 <3

first off, the unexpected and unplanned bus ride to school together ^^ i was shocked when you passed me the flowers! :D cos you were saying you forgot to bring the prezzie so i didnt expect anything AT ALL. haha! :D

then was the awkward mini birthday celebration outside LT 24. hahaha! im sure you wont forget what happened XD poor you, kana sabo-ed :P

and yes, i did get tricked to go UP to vivo luh!! i thought we really gonna slack there eh. which i really didnt mind :) haha! no wonder you ask me go toilet first. haha! and no wonder you mentioned buying milk tea twice XD hoho. i really did not expect anything.

and then the place you brought me to... the venue itself was already a mystery to me. then i started guessing where it would be. but your plan still won me. woohoo *applause* LOL :P

i really loved the view up there, especially sitting there with you. not a second was wasted. not a second wasn't meaningful. i love every moment up there :)

and there goes the touching moment when you were writing in that notebook hehe ^^ and i love everything okay. i love all your prezzies. i love your plans. everything. you ♥

thank you so much for everything last night, sweetie. i didn't write up a post ytd cos i didnt have the time and the pictures on hand. now, i needa write them in the notebook! hehe ^^ and oh! i still needa transfer my tons of pics into the com. lol!

AND i didn't forget your vday prezzie! :P i took a picture of all of them. except that i couldn't take a picture of what i used to take a picture of them (if you get what i mean) :P

i'm still in candyflossland babe! :P i still haven't recovered from yesterday! hahahaha :D

love you lots lots! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

~~*will include pics after i transfer them :P*~~

AND!!!!

not forgetting the most unforgettable Valentines' Day ever! :D
the very beautiful table setting! :D (show your mum! LOL :P)

110216

2011-02-16T02:36:00.004+08:00

happy 3rd sweets! <3

you're the best thing that happened to me. :)

but... i had to read chat log...

... (1), 8/10/10 (2), 10/10/10, 22/11/10 (3)

110212

2011-02-12T23:16:00.000+08:00

true enough. i do not know what it's like for you.
but have you wondered how it's like for me? stuck between friends and boyfriend.
i cannot throw either one away. trying to find a way to compromise both sides.
trying to find a way to not neglect one for another.
you get to talk to ALL your close friends... your pri sch friends, your sec sch friends, your poly friends..
i don't...
i have to choose.
it's hard you know...
you may not understand how hard would it be.
cos all my life, i've been mixing around with females and males. while it's the opposite for you.
it's easy to learn to mix with different sexes. but hard to pull away.
i've never written such thoughts out before...
but do know, you're not the only one in pain.
i do not know what it's like for you...
but at the same time, you do not know what it's like for me as well...

爱再艰难，再痛苦我也会坚持下去

110209

2011-02-10T01:30:00.000+08:00

그렇게 힘들어...? ㅠ

110209

2011-02-10T01:12:00.001+08:00

you looked really beautiful, cute, adorable etc. just now. :)
and i'm not lying :)
no matter how swollen your eyes are, they will still be beautiful...in mine.

1 hour passed so quickly... in the blink of an eye...

nice spaghetti attempt though :D we are amazing cooks LOL XDDDD
i love the scallop. it was awesome :D

110209

2011-02-09T02:41:00.000+08:00

just enough to ignite the sparks in us.
sparks awaiting to be touched on all these while.
fate pulled our hands together.
to stay on, it's now up to us.

reminiscing about the past, or rather, the start.
the laughter we shared, the awkwardness we had
like a visual diary in my mind.
i love those times. and i do miss them. ^^

i know in future i'll look back and love the us we are now.
i know in future i'll look back and miss the us we are now.

let's live our life to the fullest, together.

110207

2011-02-07T15:08:00.001+08:00

it's the one thing i love most ♥

110203

2011-02-03T22:12:00.001+08:00

love is non-materialistic

love is unconditional

i love you, i do.

but sometimes, it does kill me from inside...
i'll still love you, i still love you, nevertheless

110202

2011-02-02T00:39:00.001+08:00

i don't know why i'm crying.
i don't know why i can't seem to stop the tears from flowing.

i love you.
i miss you.

just looking at my phone wallpaper made me cry even harder.
just thinking about you made me cry even harder.

you said you knew how i felt.
i have no doubts about that. really.

i can't get enough of you.
you're the best i can ever have.

the things you can do for the one you love.
the things you can let go of for the one you love.

everything i do reminds me of you.
every song i listen to sings a bit of you.

the stale night, nevertheless, gives me hallucinations of your smell.
not once, not twice, but countless times.

how i can't do without you.
how i need you.

because i love you.
because i care.
---

you matter so much.
that every time i feel like i'm gonna lose you, even to games, i can't help but break down inside.

110201

2011-02-01T17:36:00.000+08:00

as i gazed into your beautiful eyes
feel your soft lips touching mine
the tingle of your touch on my skin
my mind blurs into a wonder
consciousness blocked out all else except you
feeling the space (or lack of) between us
my heart sings along

♥...

110130

2011-01-30T16:11:00.002+08:00

hahaha omg babe you're cute XD i'm looking through the pics you emailed me. hahahahahaha! <3
and the pictures are so love! (and cute!) XDDD
heee i saved them all liao :D

but in relation to your blog post...
aww mannnnnnnnnn! >.<
i don't know what to say...
so that's the reason why you wanted to take pictures... of course i wouldn't mind :) but i did not expect the cause of it to be so... sad..? in a way?
but then again, it's nice. cos it means capturing loved moments ^^ to let us reminisce about the good ~~old~~ young times, in the future. :)

i love you, dear ^^
i feel the safest with you.
i feel most loved with you.
i feel happiest with you.
i feel most fortunate with you.
you're the best damn thing ok. :P

you've never left my mind
you've never left my heart.
you'll always be in my mind
and you'll always be in my heart.

i've never thought about leaving you.
i merely thought about what if we had to part.
which, almost immediately after, forced this thought out of my mind.

i do cherish you.
i do treasure you.
you coming into my life, i believe, wasn't a coincidence at all.
and, like we always say, everything happens for a reason.
i'm honoured to be the one that's chosen by your heart.
and very fortunate, indeed.

to sum it all up (including thoughts running in and out of my mind now),
thank you so much ♥

and i love you, till time do us apart...

110123

2011-01-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

am i suffocating you?
am i making life hard for you?
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry that i did.
i'm sorry.

maybe you'd be better off without me...
maybe...

i'd my eyes and heart out.
it'll kill me inside-out.
i'll regret for life.
if i ever let you go. i'll never want to let go of you, but.... but... if.... i don't even want to think of it T_T

hurts damn bad. hurts damn bad.
i've never cried so much and so long before.

i love you.
and nothing will change a thing.

i love you so much.
so much so that it hurts so much.
so much so that it's killing me so much right now.

i can't imagine if one day i have to leave you.
i can't imagine if one day you have to leave me.
i can't imagine if one day all that's left of us would be just memories and tears.
no i don't want.
i don't want, please.
please.
T_________________________T

110123

2011-01-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

don't leave me hanging ley...
don't ignore me ley...
don't don't talk to me ley...

:'(